All I Want For Christmas...

I've been thinking about how AWESOME it would be if Pi could come home around Christmas. I've also been thinking of how horrible that would be for Pi's birthmother. How horrible to celebrate Christmas having given birth, but not bringing the baby to your own home. So, this Christmas season, I am praying for all the birthmothers who have to go through the holidays without their children. I know how difficult it is to go through the many holidays knowing I will never be pregnant nor give birth. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to go through the holidays knowing you handed your own flesh and blood to another family. What a lonely place.

Birthmothers, first mothers, natural mothers, biological mothers (whatever your term of choice is), you are in my thoughts and prayers this season.

Final Three

Oh well. That is my current thought. Oh well. Let me fill you in a little...

For the past two weeks, we have known of a birthmother who had narrowed her selection down to three families, and we were one of the three. She gave birth right after Thanksgiving, and decided to come up with an adoption plan after giving birth. This was a little difficult for me because there was already a newborn baby girl involved. Anytime we are given a bunch of information on a birthmother or expectant mother, I start to pray for her and even feel a little connection to her. This time, I felt a connection with the birthmother, and I started dreaming of the little baby girl awaiting a forever family. Well, I found out today, after two weeks of waiting, wondering, and praying, that she has chosen to not go with us. I won't lie, I am disappointed. Yet, at the same time, I am encouraged that this young lady has had people from all over praying for her. I was guarded in who I told about this potential situation (as not to get a lot of people overly excited), but I did call on some praying friends from a web forum. With all of those prayers, I am confident that this young lady made the best decision possible for who will be the parents of her daughter. So, I am left saying "Oh well."

When we look at Factor and all of the joy and love he brings into our family, we are reminded of God's hand in the forming of our family. God knows the exact child(ren) He has chosen for this family, and who are we to question that?

Stroller - - Check

I may be jumping the gun a little, but I already got the double stroller. You know that post below about Kizoodle? Well, I got the stroller from there. That means it did not cost me any money. Isn't that awesome?? I'm so excited that I am going to recruit somebody else's child to go for a ride in it! Factor already loves it and wants to ride in it and bring a friend. He's pretty cute, you know.

I hope everybody had a great Thanksgiving! We went to Factor's Grandma and Grandpa's house. I must say, Factor LOVES the attention he gets over there! He woke up everyday saying "Grandpa, come play with me!" I won't be surprised if he wakes up tomorrow and says the same thing.

Another time away from home with no phone call regarding Pi. I think we have proven the whole "people are chosen when they are away" theory to be incorrect. Oh well. Maybe we can start a new theory of people get chosen right after the holidays.

8, Eight, Ocho

Eight months. It has been eight months since we turned in our application. That means in four months, we will meet the year mark for turning in our application. Soon after that, we will run into the year mark for everything else, and all will need to be updated. Unless, of course, Pi is born before then. I shall take it one day at a time, or else I get a little anxious. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we wait for and pray for Factor's baby brother or baby sister.

Factor is learning how to be a big brother, as I try to have him interact with younger children on a regular basis. He understands (though he does not appreciate) the concepts of sharing and being kind. I am truly glad we have been able to have this time with him to help him grow into the almost preschooler that he is. If we had a baby before now, I imagine it would be rather difficult to devote the time and energy toward Factor that he sometimes requires. God's timing is perfect :-)

Pondering

No news. The way it looks right now, I don't think we will hear anything about being chosen to adopt in 2007. I'm learning how to be fine with that.

Anybody watch the movie Bella? It's a great glimpse into adoption.

Do You Kizoodle?

I am hooked! There is a place called Kizoodle where I go to "swap" items with other people. It is fantastic!! I have gotten shirts for Factor and sheets for Pi's cradle. How does it work? Well, you pay for everything in credits. No money is exchanged. You pay for the shipping costs of anything you are shipping out, otherwise it is all done in credits. When you register, you automatically receive 5 credits. If you use a referral code, you get an extra 2 credits. So, you start out with 7 credits and earn more when people "buy" the items you list. Didn't sell something at a garage sale? Try listing it on Kizoodle. Thinking about taking some stuff to the second hand store? Try listing it on Kizoodle. I am so excited about it because there are so many things out there that we may need once Pi comes along (of course we'd have to know a gender for some items). Want to know more? Go to http://www.kizoodle.com and enter WCHM7G as your referral code when you register!

Start "Kizoodling" today!

Okay, this stroller is all that!

I have been keeping an eye out for double strollers, knowing we will need one when Pi comes along. I keep looking at craigslist to see what used strollers are out there, and how much they are selling for, etc. Well, I think I have found one that tops them all! Let me explain.

First, I would like a tandem stroller because it is easier to get into doorways and aisles in the grocery store. The downfall of them (even the one I have posted about before) is that they are so heavy to push! Not empty, but once you put two in there, it is like pushing a shovel down a snowfilled driveway, only it doesn't cease until you have taken the children out. So, I started to consider a jogging stroller.

Jogging strollers are easier to push. It would be great for walking through the mall (for exercise, not leisure), going to the zoo, walking the neighborhood, etc. The main problem is that jogging strollers are side by side. This is okay, but not if you wanted to walk anywhere where there was a normal sized doorway, or grocery or store aisle. They are just too wide!

What is one to do? I have found a wonderful solution! It would only require a small fortune, but otherwise, it is a perfect solution :-) Isn't it beautiful? A tandem jogger! It is the Jane Powertwin. It is sold at limited stores in the USA (conveniently enough, one is just a couple miles from here).

What's the damage? Are you ready? $550!!!!

What Do You Say?

I can't believe I haven't written anything since August! Well, I hope all of you avid readers out there know that the long time between posts just means nothing is really going on here. We have heard of a couple of expectant mothers who may be viewing our profile this week. I don't even know if that should be an exciting thing to know anymore. I'll tell you what would be exciting...being chosen by one of those expectant mothers! It's kind of hard to say that, though, knowing that by being chosen, an expectant mother is choosing not to raise her biological child. Where is the joy in that? Yet, once circumstances are uncovered and the expectant mother is met, and things are explained, and a relationship builds, the joy of having a new member of the family starts to feel more comfortable. The prospect of having that expectant mother in our lives for many years to come also helps to bring joy to my heart.

So, we continue to hope and pray for a new addition (and yes, I know there are a great number of people out there praying specifically for a little girl). I will keep you posted. Please keep us in your prayers.

Yeah...you know

We have received recent word that there is no new activity at the adoption agency, so we continue our wait with prayer. Factors has started asking to pray for a new baby brother or baby sister. We hope to introduce him to many situations where he has to share his toys and my attention in order to prepare him (however slight). While spending time with some neighbors who have a newborn, he flat out ignored me when I was holding the baby. Uh oh. I hope that is not what he does when Pi comes along! We'll keep you posted on our adventures as we continue this wait :-)

Not much new around here

Our cw starts his vacation tomorrow, so I am sure we won't hear anything for a while. As of right now, we have been viewed by three expectant mothers, but have not been chosen by any of them. I think the wait might be a little harder this time because I do not have a job outside of our home. When we were waiting for Factors, I would have times of being anxious, but when I finally got a job (at a hospital, as a nursing technician), I think weeks went by without me thinking about it. Now, I spend days looking around and planning where everything will go to make room for another baby. In fact, I think to myself, "that area there will have to be cleaned and those items removed..." as if I will actually have time once we are chosen?! Maybe I ought to 'work' on getting all of that stuff done ;-)

Side note--the other day I was talking to cw on the phone. Factors, being the very vocal 2 year old that he is, kept asking to say "hi". Finally, I handed him the phone and mentioned baby brother and baby sister to him. Promptly he asks cw, "Can I have a baby brother or baby sister, please?" Awww! Who could say "no" to that?

Decision on Stroller

I think I have decided on the stroller I would prefer for Factor and Pi (when Pi comes along). I think I would prefer the Graco Quattro Duo. In case anyone was wondering...there it is. I'm attaching a picture, as well.

They come in different colors, but I don't guess I'm all that picky. I like the color of the one in the link, but the picture one is kind of cute, too (from amazon.com).

I wanted to add that I think this would work best for our needs (which do not currently include running or hiking). It is definitely more reasonable price wise than many other strollers out there, and does handle rather well. Yes, it is kind of heavy, but can be folded with one hand. I think it would work our well for a day at the zoo, a state fair, a nice walk through the neighborhood, even a long mall excersion. There are a couple others that I like, but the price and the mediocre reviews lead me back to this one. Unless anyone else has an opinion...

Being Viewed Again

So, we are in the midst of the official adoption waiting game. I have received the bills and the official approval letter from the adoption agency. Now, we are hearing of expectant mothers who may be viewing our profile. It is very difficult to not get your hopes up when you hear about these situations. We have been turned down by one expectant mother, most likely will be turned down by another particular expectant mother, and will be viewed by a different expectant mother this week. I keep reminding myself that this may be a long process. We may have many rejections before we are chosen. Please keep us in your prayers.

I go back and forth with what gender I would prefer. One day, I really want to have a daughter (okay, most days), but then I would love for Factor to have a brother. Factor's Meme has 6 grandchildren, and 5 of them are boys and the girl is the oldest. Factor's Grandma has 2 grandchildren, both boys. It really would be neat to add a female to the mix of cousins, but our little sports and tackle man would really enjoy a brother playmate (well, maybe not initially, but eventually) :-)

Being Viewed

Our wait for this adoption may be many, many months. On the other hand, we were recently notified of a few different situations that may result in our profile being viewed. So, we continue to pray, wait, and hope. I do plan on keeping this blog updated to the best of my ability, but there may not be many specifics I can discuss. We remain cautiously optimistic that we will meet Pi fairly quickly and that Factor may become the Big Brother he so longs to be :-)

Maybe Now Waiting

We were told that our profile may be shown as soon as the next expectant mother wants to look at profiles. That's pretty cool news! Now, we still may not be chosen for many, many months, but it is nice to know that we have moved to this next step :)

Please keep the future expectant mother of Pi in your prayers. We do not know who she is or what her situation may be, but I am sure she will have many struggles and things to deal with that I can't even fully imagine. Pray that God would be her comfort and He would bring her peace. Also, pray that she would find the support system she needs in family, friends, and even her church.

Thanks :-)

Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot lately about what we may need once Pi comes along. Assuming Pi comes while Factor is still a toddler, I think we may need a sit-n-stand type stroller. Does anyone out there have one? If so, which kind, and what are its pros and cons? I've been researching them for a while and wonder if One Step Ahead's version might be the best. I have it pasted on the left there. Here is the link, if any of you want to read about it : http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=6793&parentCategoryId=85184&categoryId=85219&subCategoryId=86216

A Bunch of Nothing

That is what I can offer as far as updates. A bunch of nothing. We are still not on the path to being approved yet. We still have not been billed. We are in the process of perfecting this skill called "waiting", and we are not technically waiting yet!

Still Slow

Got news today that things are still moving slowly. We continue to wait for our home study to be completed [written up and submitted by cw...no pressure, cw ;-) ] and for that bill to arrive...patiently.

Completely off topic, I just noticed that I posted on the 9th, 18th, and 27th. Yeah, I know. It must take a math person to notice and smile at something like that :)

Slow...

Updating everyone just to say that things are slowing down a bit. We are waiting to wait. We have to wait for stuff to be completed on our cw's end before we are put in the officially waiting to adopt pile. Apparently they bill us, rather than us paying as we reach a milestone (what we did with Factor). We have not yet been billed for the homestudy or the profile/approval, so I guess that tells us that we are that much farther from being approved. I don't think I have ever wanted to see a bill in the mail as much as I do those from our agency! What can you do? I know that we are not the only family that cw is working with, and he told us ahead of time that we would be around 10th on his list of families to work on, but I guess I was hoping that it wouldn't seem like time was moving so slowly. You have to understand that once you are approved, you could wait 18+ months to be matched with an expectant mother. So, if the wait is long to even get to the approval stage, imagine how much longer it could be once approved. If you see few updates on this blog, it is because I am trying not to be anxious, and, most likely, nothing has changed.

Profile In

Today I turned in 3 color copies of our profile. What does that mean? Well, it means that our end of the paperwork is almost done. All I have left to do is a one page summary/questionnaire that will be kept in the birthparent counselor's file. The b.p. counselor looks at the summary sheets to see if they match with any of her clients. If there is a match, the potential birthparent could then inquire about our profile. Make sense? The summary/questionnaire shouldn't take long, but I don't think I am going to do it today. Today is my birthday. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow :)

Home Study Done!

Whew! The home study is over! And, I am happy to say that our 2 year old Factor did fairly well. His stomach wasn't feeling well, he didn't sleep well the night before, but he proved to be very patient during our 2+ hour conversation with cw. Now, we have only to hand in our profile and send in our payments (apparently they now bill instead of us paying on the spot), and we are good to go. We have to wait until cw has written out his report before we will be able to send in the money, though. Hopefully that will be quick :)

I completed the profile last night, but still need to make copies of it. Also, there is a one page summary that I need to do. I don't recall what this consists of, so cw will have to send me info on it. All in all, it looks like our official wait for Pi may start this Spring (by Spring, I mean calendar days, not air temperature).

Definitions

Natural Child: Any child who is not artificial.
Real Parent: Any parent who is not imaginary.
Your Own Child: Any child who is not someone else's child.
Adopted Child: A natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.

--- Rita Laws, PhD

We Have a Date!!

I received an e-mail yesterday from cw saying that April 5th would work for our Home Study update. Woohoo! Now, with Grandma, Grandpa, and Factor's cousin coming to visit next week, and Factor's birthday the week after that, maybe a 3 week wait won't seem as long as it sounds. That gives us three weeks to have the medical exams and bloodwork done. I think we can swing that! I also hope to have our *profile* completed by the time cw comes, so I can hand it to him at his visit.

*profile* = This is a summary of us. The way I do it, it is basically a mini-scrapbook of our lives so far. There is writing and there are many pictures. It is difficult to compile, because you don't want to come across as 'selling' yourself, but, at the same time, you don't want to leave out things you think are important. I hope to make it truly unique, with different words and pictures then Factor's had. For Factor, the profile is the first part of his baby scrapbook (where I have recorded the first 18 months of his life). I do not thinks Pi's will be the same. I think our profile for him/her will be separate from his/her babybook. Why? Because I already have the book I want to use for him/her, and it is not big enough to continue for a year. Besides, I have a really cute Beatrix Potter baby book I could use for Pi.

Not necessarily always included with the profile (often handed in separately) is the "dear birthmother" letter. I plan on having this ready to go, as well. This is the first thing a pregnant young lady would read, when figuring out if she wants to learn more about you/your family. I choose not to head it, "dear birthmother", though. I mean, when a young lady in a crisis pregnancy situation is trying to decide whether to come up with an adoption plan or not, and she has taken the steps to read these letters, does she really look at herself as a birthmom? I don't think so.

Adoption and John Piper

Here is a link to a seminar speech from John Piper on adoption. He speaks about 8 ways God's adoption of us as His children is similar to us adopting children. The link will take you to the written version, but you can click on the "listen" link and hear it instead. Enjoy!

Wait #1

Well, we have most of what needs to be done up to this point done and turned in. We do not have the medical info filled out, but I was going to coordinate the timing with the home study. I just received word that our hoped for end-of-March home study may be moved back into April. Bummer. I realize the journey is just beginning, but to have a lull this soon into the process is kind of a let down. You get in a rhythm of filling, and doing, and mailing, and then you are told to stop and do nothing for a while. I guess it does help you realize that you are not in control. God's timing is perfect. Lulls don't take Him by surprise. He already knows who He has chosen for this family. I shall reflect on that when I am tempted to be anxious over this waiting. And, every period of waiting, for that matter. I just may need to be reminded every once in a while.

Adoptive Breastfeeding

Adoptive Breastfeeding...any opinions?

References In

As I write (okay, not literally as I write since it is after midnight), all of our references have received their paperwork and are working on them, have worked on them, or will be working on them. This is one of those times where you can't really do anything yourself. I know the questions are tough and thought provoking, but hopefully everyone will get them in in a timely manner.

I am still working on our self-study. Well, I would have had it finished by now, but since Degree went out of town I can't get him to read and sign anything now anyway. I decided I'd give myself a couple days to reflect on the rest of the questions before completing it. Now, when Degree gets back, he may have a stack of papers to read and sign so I can hurry up and have them mailed out on Saturday, but that's the way it goes :-)

I stated earlier that we aren't going to put a preference down for gender. Well, Factor started saying "Baby Sister" and it sounds soooo cute! I can't get him to say baby brother. He just won't say it. I hope it is just a phase because it is making me really want a baby girl!

Paper Trail Begins

Let me take a minute to introduce myself and my family, for those of you stumbling upon this blog with no other connection to me. I am Integer, a stay at home mother of one, though I used to be a math teacher. My husband, Degree, works fulltime in publishing and is also a PhD student. He is working on his PhD in Historical Theology. Our son, Factor, will be 2 years old at the end of March. We adopted him domestically (which means he was born in the USA) 2 years ago. We live in Michigan. We moved up here years ago so Degree could go to school. I love the four seasons that we experience here, but really would like for winter to be a little shorter than it always is. Isn't it supposed to end Mid-March? Not in Michigan. Enough introduction...

In this blog, I hope to keep everyone up to speed on the adoption of Pi, our hoped for 2nd child.

I am up to my eyebrows in papers to fill out to get this process moving. On one hand, I feel like I could spend a few hours and have it all filled out tomorrow. On the other hand, I know that the references have yet to be sent out by the agency which means I can take a little time before I send in all of our stuff. The whole adoption process, from the time you receive the paperwork until a baby is placed in your home, could take up to 2 years. What's a couple extra days on my end with these papers? Of course, some of the papers require dr. visits, so those are not my responsibility to actually fill out. The essay-type "self study" questions are what takes the most time. I'd like to pass the questions out to everyone I know who is thinking of having another child...see how well they answer them.

Application is in!

Welcome to my new adoption blog! I hope to journal our journey through the adoption of our second child. To start, let me say that today I hand delivered our adoption application to our case worker (to be referred to as "cw"). This is the first of many steps down the path that leads to bringing our baby home.